I realised today that its been around about a decade I've been struggling with illness.
part of me thinks I should probably be used to it by now. but its unimaginably wearing... more so than anything else that consumes my life.
but MEH!! Ive posted on feeling rough before so ill cut the bitching now.
The production I'm playing in is over. and my life has regressed to its familiar cycle of work write sleep.
and it's bothering me...
i loved working in theatre far more than I thought I would. I sat in on script meetings, auditions, worked in set design stage crew stage management. made props by hand. the works!!
and ive stressed about it and fought about it and loved every agonising second of it.
and i really want to do it again.
so between dead by dawn and the forbidden planet. im shifting my focus to the realms of drama.

Ucas has helped ( the one time in my life I will ever put that line in print) Ive applied for unis and colleges with distinguished links between literature and theatre. looked a postgraduate courses in film production and theatrical writing.. and I think I've figured out how im gonna get to where i wanna go.
i haven't lofty goals.
i just wanna make a living doing what i do day to day. write, paint, start random projects with my mates.

and maybe one day
change the world a bit